We have a baby, it's true

Holy blogging, Batman. I have fallen down on the job! Maybe because we are constantly taking care of an infant...that could be.

Oliver is here! As I'm sure you all know. He was born at 5:51am on August 9, 2010. 8 pounds, 14 ounces, and 22 inches...though at the pediatrician they measured him at 20.5 inches. Who knows. I still think he's a tall little man. He has big hands and feet with long fingers and toes, blue eyes for now, a nice head of fluffy brown hair and is cute as a button! When he cries sometimes he sounds like a teapot...really, last night after we put him down I heard the sound of a teapot on tv and thought he was crying in his crib.

The labor and delivery went very smoothly. It was a little slow since he was the first baby, so I got pumped with pitocin and therefore opted for a blissful epidural. Man, that was a good decision. After about 15 hours of active labor, Oliver was born!

He has been doing great ever since...eating well and gaining weight. He's starting to get heavy so it's tiring to hold him as much as he would like! He is a total snuggle bug and just loves to be held. He had some trouble sleeping in his crib and his pack and play for a few weeks. I think they were just too big for him, because he liked sleeping in his car seat. He would just sprawl out and his arm and legs would flail everywhere, waking himself up if he'd fallen asleep in our arms. For a few weeks we would sleep with him in the recliner, on the couch, laying on our chests. It was the only way to get some shut-eye in this house! Now he's too big to curl up the same way on our chests (they grow up so fast!) and he has more control over his flaily arms and legs so he is comfortable in his bed. Praise the Lord.

Oliver is a very active little guy and he can be louuuuuud when he wants to! I swear I will have hearing damage by the time he is out of infancy. ;-) He also has just the cutest smile, which he graced us with for the first time a couple weeks ago. It's amazing how one day all of a sudden they just...do it! Yesterday he melted my heart when I got home from work. Joaquim opened the door for me and was holding Oliver, who was content and awake. I said hi to Joaquim and gave him a kiss and then looked at Oliver and said hi to him and asked him how his day was, gave him a kiss on the forehead, and then...got a BIG smile for mommy. What a way to be welcomed home. :)

He loves to look at pictures frames on our walls. His tia Acacia made him a cross-stitched picture with some bears and a stork and a baby and he just loooooves to look at that hanging about his changing table while we change his diaper. He will just smile and coo at "his friends the bears". So adorable.

Mr. Oliver really keeps us on our toes and I often think that when he starts crawling we will be on 24/7 watch to make sure he doesn't terrorize the house and/or himself! He is a rascal for sure. And we love him!

Two Young Geezers

Joaquim and I have been a thrill a minute these days. Yes, every day we both crawl home from work and collapse and then get into bed at night and melt into the mattress, so grateful to finally be sleeping. And we don't even have an infant yet!

My energy is waning and by the end of the day I am totally sapped. Joaquim's job is much more physically demanding than mine, minus the 20-pound weight on his belly, so he is just as tired! With commitments nearly every night, we have been realizing that we need to cut them sometimes just to keep our sanity. And so we skipped our second time trying out a new small group last night.

What followed instead was marvelous! It was great to come home knowing I didn't have anything else to do. We relaxed and chatted, took a walk, scrounged for some dinner (it is really time to do some grocery shopping but we're trying to hold out until Saturday, mainly because we are creatures of habit...) and then watched a movie. When it was over around 9:30, it was already bedtime. When I woke up this morning before my alarm, I actually felt rested! So I got up and had the opportunity to spend a few minutes with Joaquim before he left for work. Of course those minutes were spent watching a World Cup soccer game. :)

So maybe we're lame with our 10 o'clock bedtimes and sitting on our couch watching silly movies, but it sure made us happy yesterday. Tonight we're using a gift certificate and going out to dinner because...well, we still are waiting until Saturday for grocery shopping! It should be a fun weekend.

This is how it feels to be pregnant

First of all, thank you all for your prayers, concern, and shared disgust regarding our car situation! We are surrounded by a great community and the body of Christ is coming together to help us out. We'll keep you posted on how it all shakes out! But hopelessness is definitely not in our vocabulary.

Secondly, I just thought I would write a more lighthearted post today about the wonders of pregnancy. I know every woman experiences it differently and many tend to forget how daily life with a soccer ball for a stomach is like, so here may be some reminders...

I woke up this morning to Oliver doing somersaults in my stomach. Or at least that's how it felt. Kicks and wiggles are all over the place these days, but this was much more dramatic - it almost made ME dizzy! I think we have a very active little boy on our hands.

I used to force down breakfast because blah blah blah it's the most important meal of the day. Then morning sickness struck and I was even more literally choking down bland food like toast or my ever faithful cheerios. But for the past few months, ever since morning sickness passed, breakfast is now perhaps my favorite meal of the day. I wake up HUNGRY and thoroughly enjoy whatever I eat!

I have also become crazy for any sort of fizzy, slightly sour, fruity beverage. With lots of ice. I could go for one right now, actually...

At some point in the day I will notice that one of my fingernails is suddenly 8 feet long and needs to be filed, even though I just filed my nails the day before. They are growing like crazy.

Sometimes I can't bend my toes on my left foot because of the wonders of edema. I wouldn't be surprised if I get a stretch mark on my foot because they are really going through a rough time! I wish I had a good picture of my feet before pregnancy. Their natural state is extremely narrow and bony. Now they look like water balloons. They probably resemble the physical properties as well.

I have just been instructed by my doctor that I need to add a daily iron supplement to my routine. That's going to be great!

I love any sort of activity for pregnant women. We went to our first childbirth class at the hospital on Monday and while I was terrified at first (I think those videos in health class really scarred me...) I soon warmed up to our nice little instructor when she began the class explaining where the bathrooms and water coolers are, encouraging us to bring in our own food or beverages if we need to, asking if anyone would like a chair to put their feet up on, etc. She ended the class with a relaxation session that is making me sleepy just thinking about it. Of course it was for the purpose of learning how to stay focused and relaxed through a contraction, but it involved laying on the floor while our "coaches" gave us a light massage. I'm sure a real contraction won't make me doze off...

Abdominal muscles completely disappear during pregnancy. The sight of 10 pregnant women getting up off the floor as their husbands (or whatever) fought the urge to say "heave hoe!" was pretty priceless. Joaquim and I often laugh as I need an extra push to get up from the couch if I'm sitting too far back.

Every time I drop something I just sigh.

The other day I hit my stomach with the car door as I closed it. I was calculating using pre-baby-body information.

I am NEVER caught without Tums. Never.

My new best friend is the third pillow in bed at night. Who knew putting a pillow under my stomach would be so wonderful?

I look at pictures of myself pre-pregnancy and long for the return of a non-giant shape. Soccer balls are for the world cup, not my belly!

Well, at 29 1/2 weeks I am 75% of the way done! I am ready to not be pregnant anymore, but we are not quite ready for Oliver to arrive yet. July will be the month of preparation in our apartment! Bottles, diapers, and wipes, oh my!

Not so fast!! Version 2

Two weeks ago at Harvest we heard a great sermon series about forgiveness. Yes, it was challenging and moving and the tricky part was that when I forgive someone, I am not just erasing a debt or getting rid of the pain. No, when we forgive, we are absorbing the debt or pain that someone has caused us. I thought that was very interesting intellectually, because I didn't really have much to forgive. Sure a couple fights here and there and some people who have bugged me or bad-mouthed me or whatever, but...not much, in the grand scheme of things. It appears that this week God has thrown something at us that will require us to really know how it feels to take on the debt that another person owes and absolve them of it.

For all who have been on the edge of their seats waiting with us to hear back from the mechanic, I do not bear good news.

I got a phone call from my dad this afternoon with the damage. My usually cool and composed father was clearly unglued and could barely find where he should begin to list the problems with the car. Very bad sign number 100.

It turns out the "well-maintained" car we purchased had had routine oil changes and perhaps nothing else. The axel and rod on the front right wheel are about to fall apart (can you say, safety hazard?) and oil is leaking in about 5 or 6 places, one of which causes it to drip on top of the engine and burn while in use, making for some smoke and that telling burning smell. On top of that, the power steering column needs to be replaced and it is leaking power steering fluid as well. All of this will amount to close to $2,000 in repairs. That would total our cost for the car at over $4,000 and that is waaaaaay more than it's worth.

Now, let's remember what our buddy "Mark" (put in quotations because I am no longer sure that is his real name) told us when he sold us the car.

- It was his father-in-law's, and he was just helping him sell it. Conveniently, he wasn't willing to negotiate much on the price because his father-in-law was the one who had the say and he wasn't going to budge. He said his father-in-law had kept the car in great shape and it had just recently had the timing belt replaced and that the engine and transmission ran great. The transmission fluid was brown, but we all just thought that was an easy fix and not a big deal. Turns out that was perhaps the only thing that was a quick fix, but it was a red flag and a sign of a bigger problem.

- He said it was a '96 camry but when he came back with the bill of sale he said oops he made a mistake, it's a '95. Hmm.

- He put his wife's name on the bill of sale but she had a different last name than his and he wasn't wearing a wedding ring.

- He had another guy looking at the car who pulled up MOMENTS after we did and who was asked to wait until we checked it over because we had contacted him first. Now we wonder if he was a set-up just meant to put a little pressure on us. "Mark" never actually talked to him or even referred to him in order to pressure us directly, but it was in the back of our minds that if we didn't take the car, this guy would.

- He had steam-cleaned under the hood so that we couldn't see any of the oil drips that soon appeared when we arrived home.

- He asked us to please do our best to get the title turned over to our name in a day or two, as soon as possible. Why? Unfortunately we did because we didn't want to drive around with no plates. Now I'm wondering if this was even his wife's or father-in-law's car and if we didn't just put a stolen title in our name.

- When we called him after seeing the leaking oil he said "the car has NEVER leaked oil" which was an incredible lie due to the fact that it was leaking in multiple places and there is NO way he hadn't noticed that.

Now we have seemingly thrown a couple thousand dollars out the window. I kind of wish we had literally done that because it would have at least been a bit more fun and maybe would have made some decent people's day a bit brighter. Instead, "Mark" walked off with a good portion of the savings of a newly married couple who is 7 months pregnant and is struggling to make ends meet and definitely needed that money for hospital bills and maternity leave if it were not going to go towards a fairly decent car. Now I have to forgive "Mark" and wipe away the obligation he has in my mind towards us regarding those couple thousand dollars. I wish I could inflict some consequences on him but he has disconnected his cell phone and he never gave us his home address. He has, for all our intents and purposes, evaporated with our dough and we will never hear from him again.

Twice in the last two days I have had a random song pop into my head whenever I have been praying and/or worrying (kind of don't go together, I know) about the car.

Psalm 20:7 "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."

Yesterday I thought, huh, that's funny...but today I got it.

Chariots and horses were symbols of power and wealth. Only the king, highly ranked government officials, or great armies had them. They were the most efficient forms of transportation in that day. We have been trusting in our small nest egg and the hope of an OK car to drive for our security. Now they are both gone, and one has not even replaced the other as we had hoped, and we are bare and vulnerable. But the name of the Lord our God is a strong and mighty tower. All those who run to it will be saved. Lord willing, even "Mark".

A New-Old Car

Some people have barbeques on Memorial Day...others buy old used cars. We would fall into the latter category!

We're still swallowing our buyer's remorse, even though we probably got a good deal (the mechanic will let us know tomorrow afternoon...) but mostly we are in shock that we actually bought a car!

Joaquim found the listing on Craigslist and it seemed like a good one. 1995 camry with 122K miles on it. Old, but for a well taken care of camry, it still has a ways to go! Leather seats and a sun roof make for a pretty nice ride too.

So, we bought it, drove it home, and...then smelled burning under the hood. Oil is leaking onto the engine. Crash went all our hopes, and off goes the "new" car to the mechanic tomorrow morning. It also probably needs a transmission flush and I'm sure they'll come up with a laundry list of other maintenance, but I reaaaaally hope that's all that must be addressed immediately.

It was certainly an eventful day and maybe a bit of an emotional rollercoaster! The rest of the weekend was great. Slept in and shopping before a family birthday party on Saturday, a very relaxing Sunday and then dinner at my parents house with their neighborhood couple's group, and yesterday we helped some good friends move into a new apartment and, obviously, bought a car!

We slept a bit restlessly last night after such a big decision, but I do feel we paid a good price and we are leaving the repairs and everything up to God. ::GULP::

Decisions

Decisions have been made, and some for us. We're pretty pleased with how it all turned out!

Joaquim will be starting with Intervarsity Press on Tuesday! It will be a part-time position for the summer, at least 30 hours a week, and he could potentially have a full time spot that is opening up in the fall, which would...drumroll please...come with benefits! Yay!

So how did we get here? Last week was a rough one as Joaquim was realizing the physical toll of 12 hour days painting. He was offered the job at IVP and told them that he needed the weekend to decide, because of the consulate opportunity and also whether or not it was right to leave his other job after only a week or two. Friday answered any questions we had when he found out he was not going to be continuing in the selection process for the job at the consulate. He was disappointed but in a way relieved, because he was completely free to pursue the position at IVP. He called them back that day and went in to fill out some paperwork.

This week still finds him painting and scraping in the hot sun, but only through tomorrow. He ended up having a great conversation with his current boss over the weekend and they are leaving things on a very good note. He may even still help out with painting on Saturdays or any days he may not be scheduled at IVP. We'll see, but it's great to have an open door!

Next on the list is getting a second car. It's a bit painful to think we have finally arrived here after avoiding it for nearly a year, but it seems unavoidable now. We are praying for a good one!

Not so fast!

Ok...remember when I said it would be fun if Joaquim had a few jobs to choose from? Well now he does! It's a long story and it grows more complicated by the minute, but God is doing SOMETHING.

We are just continuing to pray for wisdom and we don't know what is going to happen but we are doing well! Just taking some interesting paths through life...nothing out of the blue for the Lord, though!

This morning Joaquim was surprised with an extra hour at home when his boss called and asked him not to come in until 9 instead of 8. So when Joaquim came back to bed around the time he usually leaves, I woke up and asked what the deal was. We had a great hour this morning to pray together and talk and have breakfast before he left and I started to get ready for work. Soon we'll have lots more early mornings together when little Oliver is waking us up at all hours!

After surrendering our days to the Lord, we both have such peace and joy about what is here and what is to come. We've only seen the tip of the iceberg I think...

This song came on my Pandora this morning and I just agreed with it so completely!

There may be times in your life
When nothing seems to be going right
When you're tired and the road is rough
And then God will come to see me through

CHORUS
Even when I get discouraged
Sometime when I get discouraged
Even when I get discouraged
I just wait on God

Even when I get discouraged
Sometime when I get discouraged
Even when I get discouraged
I just wait on God

You might have doubts and you might have fears
Trials may come and they might bring tears
Don't you worry and don't give up
If you wait on God He'll see you through

If you wait, Wait I say
On the Lord, My God will see you through

If you wait, Wait I say

We have sure done our share of waiting, though maybe it was more forced than intentional, and God is seeing us through, amen!

A light at the end of the tunnel...

Well folks, things are looking up!

Joaquim officially has a JOB. He'll be managing college students with College Pro, a painting company. So he'll be painting homes (interior and exterior I believe) and making sure all his charges are as well. It's full time, through the summer, and that is a start that we are just giddy about! Plus his employer is allowing him to continue his application process with the consulate, which is HUGE. He'll start training on Saturday and work on Monday. I need to get used to seeing a LOT less of my husband...that's the sad part of the deal!

Speaking of which, tomorrow Joaquim has a writing/translation test at the consulate at 10am. Prayers would be appreciated! If he passes this phase (which I am confident he will!) he will go on to have an interview later in the month. He'll find out on May 21st if he is movin' on up.

So it is true that while it is all so overwhelming from afar, we have been able to handle each new step and phase. God is taking us to the end of our ropes and as we clutched and clung, terrified, we happened to look down and see we were dangling just an inch above solid ground. Oh.

On to some baby business!

I am growing larger and definitely starting to look like a legitimately pregnant woman, not just "oh she's pregnant...or is she?" I'm 25 weeks now, in the 6th month, heading into the 3rd trimester, and I am starting to feel a bit uncomfortable but I am sure the best is yet to come. We had a doctor's appointment on Monday and everything is looking great. Little Oliver has a strong heartbeat of 151 beats per minute and my comical belly is measuring just fine, still accommodating our quickly growing baby. He is steadily measuring ahead of schedule and that is just fine as long as he arrives a bit ahead of schedule too! I'm not sure if he's agreed to that deal yet though... In 3 weeks I have to go in for a glucose screening and the numbers on the scale are starting to scare me but everyone assures me I am doing just fine. But...ouch! I also saw my entire stomach move last night as Oliver did a full somersault or threw an elbow across my whole belly or something. It was a very strange sensation and even weirder to SEE it out of the corner of my eye!

Joaquim has been rearranging our apartment a bit, which has been fun. Our living room and bedroom are now a bit more spacious in order to accommodate a crib and little dresser and all the other random stuff we need...SO MUCH STUFF! How does a person soooo tiny need so many things?! Now I'm starting to think about getting all of those things soon and preparing everything. We should all pray for Joaquim when the nesting sets in...he has some time still, but it is inevitable I'm sure!

Well that is about it for now...I hope to be full of good news for the next update too!

Dishwashing Delight

Maybe it's been a while since I really washed a big pile of dishes (thanks to my wonderful husband, who is the self-professed dishwasher of the house) because last night when I rolled up my proverbial sleeves to get to work, I really enjoyed the moments of peace and quiet, with only the sound of the water running in the background. I found myself smiling as I prayed, thanking God for being so good to us. I would appreciate all of your prayers for His will to be done in Joaquim's job search. We have a few things we would like to see in a position for him, but know that God's way is definitely the best way!

In the last few days it does seem like the windows of heaven have opened with opportunities for Joaquim! The question now is which one will be the best...he is pursuing each of them as if it is THE job, and it would be cool if he has to make a decision to choose between them. What a concept!

The most promising opportunity on the horizon in MY humble opinion is at the Brazilian Consulate downtown. Joaquim was notified in March that they were going to be opening a selection process for an administrative assistant position. Full time, 1 year contract, benefits, decent pay...the whole shabang. It would be great because he could take the train (from our well-positioned apartment within walking distance of the train station) and therefore we could continue to get away with only owning one car.

The first step of the job process was merely to submit his resumé, a cover letter, and all his Brazilian and American documentation. Check.

Then he was notified on Friday April 30th that he has passed through to the first phase of proficiency testing to qualify for the job. There are 4 phases, and in order to pass each one he has to get 50%...at the end, all the candidates who passed all 4 phases will be looked at and the one who did the best overall will be chosen based on their point totals from each phase. There are 24 candidates and 1 job opening, so we are praying, that's for sure!

So the next step is a writing and translation test on either May 13th or 14th, his date and time slot to be determined! I'm excited about this one. :)

He is also interviewing as we speak for a temporary warehouse position at Intervarsity Press which would be a great place to work and has the potential to turn into a full time job with benefits as well. The benefits are key in our situation right now...but the Lord knows that! We will just be thrilled with whatever comes of all of these options because we are trusting that God's will will be done. And His way is the BEST way, says a Veggie Tales song I know and love.

Last night we were blessed with the presence of a dear friend, Yani, for dinner. She moved to Alaska with her husband a few months ago and was back in town visiting friends and arranging for her car to be shipped up to her (man, that's far). We had a lovely evening with dinner, some yummy desserts, good Brazilian decaff coffee, wonderful conversation, and some fun Mary Kay talk as well. It was an encouragement to our souls!

So at the end of the evening, Joaquim and I were tired from long days for each of us, went to bed early to wake up early so he could get to Wooddale by 9am, but we went to bed happy and feeling the kind of exhaustion that means you got a lot accomplished in one day. That's the best. :)

How to pray...

I have a lot of prayer requests these days. Sometimes I even forget just how many I have until I start to envision what my life will actually be like after late August and I realize that it will be impossible if things remain as they are. Something has to change. Or about 5 big things.

But I'm not here to complain.

I'm here to ponder prayer. I heard a sermon recently that I really liked. It urged praying boldly and specifically. Now, that sounded great to me because I thought that if I just sharpened my requests a little bit and maybe asked with a bit more attitude, God would say "Ohh, ok, I was just waiting for you to ask that way. Here you go honey."

He hasn't done that...yet. (See, I still like to leave things open for Him...)

When request after request was answered with a solid "no", I started to think there was a problem with me, with us. We weren't reading the Bible enough, we weren't praying enough, my morning conversations with God in the shower are too convenient for me, I really need to sit down and journal for at least an hour and 1/2 every evening.

But then I thought again...what is prayer? Isn't prayer a dialogue? Doesn't prayer involve worship? Adoration? Thanksgiving? And...GASP...listening to God?

So I guess my point is that I am going to keep pounding the heavenly pavement and asking for my specific and bold requests because we NEED them to be answered, but...that's not all prayer is. And if I ever think it is, I'm sure that breaks God's heart. He wants us to really know Him, and that is not just a one-way street. He wants us to let Him in and to revitalize our lives and hearts, to shake up our routines (mine is very well homogenized by now, thank you) and to make everything else fall away that is not of eternal importance. This doesn't happen by simply asking boldly for something.

Now, the sermon that I heard was NOT saying that requests are the only aspect of prayer. But unfortunately, that's what I took away from the message. Yes, I was so focused on my needs that I tried to slap a formula on them and see if God would respond the way I was hoping He would. Poor me, I'm afraid I was an idiot.

To quote a very non-Christian song, "life is a highway..." It's not a series of pit stops that involve upgrading your car. It is a journey. And I want to move forward...I'm convinced that waiting for my requests to be answered is my vehicle right now, and...well, I just am looking forward to a bathroom break soon!

God is Good
- He provided a large part of the money we need to pay my mounting medical bills. We're not out of the woods yet, and we wish we could have used that money to go out for steak or something, but He is true to His promise: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want."
- I am constantly awed at how great our apartment is. We got such a good deal and it's a wonderful place.
- Most of my maternity clothes were provided for me from some wonderful and some surprising sources. Acquiring a whole new wardrobe because you don't fit into ANY of your clothes is not easy!

Some of the Prayer Requests
- Job for Joaquim! He currently has an application in at the Brazilian Consulate in Chicago and we are hoping that this is the one that comes through! Whatever job he gets, it would be wonderful if it came with insurance benefits...though we'll be grateful for anything at this point!
- Health for all three of us and the resources to keep paying off the medical bills
- Wisdom in the months to come, financially and in terms of caregivers for our little Oliver. We are praying for a NON DAYCARE option that would...well...drop into our laps please. :-)

Aaaaaand we're back!

Jimmy Fallon and Ben Affleck SNL skit. Props to you if you know which one I'm talking about.

We have made it back safe and sound to the US! Two long days of travel and one big day spent working, doing laundry, going to the grocery store, and passing out at 8pm are over and I think we're back on track.

I have a lot to catch up on here, so I will try not to skip over any big events during our trip!

First of all, Joaquim's birthday was last Tuesday and it was a great day! His highlights were having ice cream with his two favorite ladies (me and Mãe) and then a CHURRASCO for dinner. That was some good meat! Baby liked it too and was kicking his approval. :) Pai made a lovely service in the chapel and it was a great time for family and friends to come over to Lar for a celebration. I had to give Joaquim his gift before we left so I kind of felt empty-handed on his actual birthday but I hope he still enjoyed lots of happy birthday kisses and spending the day together. :) We have since also celebrated with my family at my parents house this Sunday. Lots of guacamole and red cake. It made for a very colorful and delicious meal, and plenty of laughter to go around.

Joaquim was able to speak at church on Wednesday night, our last church service in Assis for the time being. I was blessed to hear him and trust that he really encouraged the church there. We are in prayer for them now for their growth and for a freshness in the faith of each one of them...as well as in us! It was a blessing to participate with them, and I enjoyed singing as part of Joaquim's message that evening as well.

The rest of our time in Assis was spent soaking up moments of conversation, and it seemed like we just had great meal after great meal. We'd wake up to a nice breakfast, then just a couple hours later it seemed as though we were sitting down again to a nice lunch, then a nice coffee break, then a nice dinner...and we just ate and ate and talked and ate! Joaquim got a few things done for Mãe in helping her prepare the taxes, and we each did our best to help serve Lar in a few administrative capacities during our last few days. That is a great need there...

On Saturday evening we said a very hard goodbye to Mãe and Pai at the bus station. Joaquim and Mãe had a moment that brought tears to everyone's eyes as it was clear that Mãe really didn't want to say goodbye to him. She is such a strong woman and I can count on one hand the times I have seen her cry, so that really did me in! The bus ride was a bit somber in light of that, and by the time we got to São Paulo we were pretty beaten up physically and emotionally.

Joaquim's cousin Leandro picked us up at the bus station (which is the size of an airport, I swear...huge!) and we went back to his house to meet his new little baby boy! After a nice breakfast with him and his wife Carla and the sleeping baby, we took showers and then took a NAP for a good 2 hours. Joaquim was hesitant to nap because he doesn't like to sleep when conversations can be had, but in his sympathy for me he laid down a bit and was out in a flash. After we woke up, his aunt and uncle had arrived to start the preparations for another CHURRASCO mmmmm. Another aunt and uncle came over for lunch, as well as lots of other people I did not know, and we had a delicious meal. The best part was the cheese-stuffed garlic bread that was put on the grill as well. I had quite a few pieces, let me tell you. Around 3, yet another aunt and uncle came over to pick us up and bring us to the airport. Between two cars (American suitcases filled with 10 pounds of coffee don't fit well in Brazilian car trunks...) we made it to the airport super early and they blessed us by hanging out a bit after we had checked in and took us to McDonald's. Mmmm McDonald's. So good.

The airport situation was comical because it was the first time a stranger had asked me if I was pregnant. So I got whooshed ahead to the front of all the lines. Checking in, then at security, and by the time we saw the big line at the exit immigration, Joaquim had learned the system and he asked a guard if there was a special line for pregnant women. The guard responded with an enthusiastic, "well of course! Right this way!" and ushered us both up to the front once again. I must say that I was very grateful because standing for long periods of time while pregnant and after a VERY long night and day was just not high on my to-do list.

Our flight (thank the Lord we bought a direct ticket...that was wise...) was really uneventful, and I did my dutiful hourly walking. Even if I had been sleeping soundly it seemed like I woke up on the hour no matter what. I was so nervous about taking care of myself and the baby so I guess I had my internal alarm programmed! It was a relief to land and know that we were done with traveling. My dad picked us up at O'Hare and we popped into their house to say hi to my mom before hitting the road back to our apartment to shower and get ready for work. I was in such a daze all day Monday that I am not even sure what happened that day. All I know is that I went to bed at 8:00 that night and felt much better on Tuesday.

So, what have we been up to in the last week? Joaquim has continued back on the job hunt...he has an open application at UPS that he was hoping would turn into employment by now, but we're in the waiting game. He is applying places left and right and trying to tap into new and old connections. We also had a doctor's appointment last Tuesday and were pleased to see a healthy baby! He is continuing to measure a bit ahead of schedule each time. They say it's a boy, so those male Allen genes are kicking in for sure! Yikes...

Now we're getting back into the routine here and also trying not to let ourselves become too content with the routine. We're always pressed in some way and learning something new...and God is always good! We're so grateful to have had a wonderful trip. Thanks for all your prayers!

Aracnaphobia!!

For those who haven't seen that movie, count your blessings and let me say that I saw enough live wild spiders for my entire life yesterday. I was just sauntering into the bathroom when I saw a big, fat, hairy, black tarantula sitting on the side of the bathtub. I circled right on out of there, said "ohhhhhhhhh my goshhhhhhh" and ran out to Joaquim. "Ummm there is a VERY big spider in our bathroom." He went and sprayed some spider killing spray at it but it seemed more perturbed than, well, dead. It just walked on out of the bathtub, along the floor, and started heading out into the bedroom. Joaquim flipped it onto its back in the bathroom and it looked like it was dead, but after about 1 minute it stretched out its legs and righted itself. Flipped again, and then Joaquim grabbed it between two flip flops (this sucker was way too big to just smash...) and flushed it down the toilet. I kept a distance of about 10-20 feet during the whole incident, took a couple pictures, and mostly squealed while Mãe laughed and Joaquim concentrated on the poor arachnid's imminent death.

Well, this was at the end of a full, very busy, day.

The day started off very nicely...it was a federal holiday in Brazil (Good Friday) and all the kids were off school, all the stores were closed so there were no errands to run...a very nice forced break. We woke up around 9, had a calm, lazy breakfast, and then were almost immediately off to Gilberto and Roseli's house for lunch. I don't think I felt hungry once yesterday, due purely to constant eating. We had some good chicken, pasta, rice, and Guaraná (oh I am over caffeinating myself these days I am SURE) and lively conversation, then headed out around 2. After helping Cristina make some brownies here, we headed back out to visit Joaquim's cousin who lives in Assis but I had never met. First we went to his aunt's house, sat and chatted there for an hour, then went with her to Ursula's house and were there for two hours eating carrot cake and chatting. I think we left there around 5 or 6, and I was EXHAUSTED. It was hot inside the house and we were cramped at the kitchen table and I was just ready for a nap. Thankfully Joaquim responded to his pregnant wife's request to make our polite exit, and off we went. Except for the fact that we still had to drop off his aunt. Tia Ivanese is just the sweetest thing, but whenever we go over there, there is NO leaving! So we get to her house and her daughter invited us in right away and had made mousse de maracuja (passion fruit mousse) and cake and juice. More eating and talking. I was actually enjoying the conversation but I was so tired that I could have just cried. At one point I pondered upon how sleepy I was and tears actually did come to my eyes. I have a cold, I was thinking about how an illness and exhaustion is not good for a body that is in the process of making a human being, and then the hormones kicked in and made me one upset mama.

So I sat there, tapping Joaquim's leg, for about 40 minutes and at 8pm we left. When we arrived home I planned on laying down and maybe snoozing until dinner (completely unnecessary after all the food we'd eaten but this silly baby needs to eat on a regular basis, and maybe something of nutritional value!) when I encountered Harry the spider. And there was the end of any chance of sleep.

We ended up going to bed at about 10:30 or 11 after a day of lots of great conversation and fellowship...and a few tears that were quickly enveloped by SLEEP.

Today I've felt infinitely better, only a few sneezes, and I got a nap this afternoon. This equals a happy mama. :)

We hung around Lar and Pai and Mãe's house today...had breakfast, chatted, washed all our clothes, took a little walk, had lunch, slept, chilllllllled. Now we are downloading an episode of Lost on iTunes (I still had $12 from a gift card I got Christmas of 2008 on my itunes account...sweeeeeeet) and Joaquim is preparing to speak at church tomorrow.

It hardly feels like Easter weekend here...I've been a little nostalgic about Easter at home because we're not really celebrating in any way. Of course there is chocolate, but no church service on Good Friday and not much more than normal tomorrow morning it seems. Of course I've grown out of all the fun childhood Easter traditions we used to do in my family (and soon will do with our little Oliver, Lord willing!) but I still LOVE Easter. Yesterday as Joaquim and I drove through town I saw just how empty it was because of the day off. Then we drove past a Catholic church and saw that it was standing room only. The line at the butcher's counter at the supermarket today was also out the door, because all the Catholics are free to eat meat now. So there is a bit of an effort to not do anything show-boaty in church because this is SUCH a Catholic holiday here, and most of the people who "celebrate" by having fish on Friday and going to church for the only time all year don't even understand or know the significance of the day. In an effort to be different than the Catholics, there is a lack of recognition of Jesus's death on the cross because it has to be recognized every day, not just a religious attempt once a year. Ok, I get that...but I still miss a really good Good Friday service at Harvest and saying "Christ is Risen!! He is risen indeed!!" at church on Sunday morning.

But we will celebrate in our hearts tomorrow! And it's good to experience the holiday here and know how Joaquim is used to it...and plan how our Easter will be next year, no matter where we will be located.

Life in Assis

We made it safely all the way to Lar on Saturday! It's really a miracle that we can get here so "easily" considering the thousands of miles we traveled. Airplanes, cars, and busses.

We left Thursday evening and had a pretty good flight. My normal routine is to take 2 tylenol PM as soon as I sit down and buckle my seat belt, pop in some earplugs, put on a mask to cover my eyes, and I wake up for breakfast. That was slightly interrupted by a very small child this time, and now to fight swelling in my feet and legs I had to get up once an hour and walk around. It is just marvelous to pull yourself out of a seat at 3:45am after having barely slept and go for a stroll. About 5 or 6 hours into the 10 1/2 hour flight I knelt down to grab my shoes from under my seat and noticed that my legs were definitely swollen, so that encouraged me to keep walking. We had a few moments of turbulence that always freak me out, so I was glad to have a hand to hold and just tried to stay calm. If I'm freaking out, the baby freaks out too! It was in one of those moments that Joaquim felt his first kick from our little one, who was definitely putting on some acrobatics, maybe because of my sudden onset of hypertension, whoops.

When we got to São Paulo, Isaac picked us up and the airport and we left to spend 3 hours in the car. I'm not sure how far Tio Silvio's house is from the airport in miles, but it definitely is NOT supposed to take 3 hours. We were parked on the highway for a good bit, and watched the gas gauge start flashing, knowing an exit and a gas station were a loooong way away. We made it to fill up the car and our stomachs and then headed back out into the parking lot. Isaac picked us up at 10, and after eating and sitting, we were at his parents house by about 2:30. Yikes. We took a shower, took a nap, had some quick coffee, and were off again to the bus station. It took us 2 hours to get there. Then we had a 12 hour bus ride, and I slept for almost the whole thing. Not terribly well, but I was out.

So after lots of driving and sitting and watching the incredible growth of my ogre/hobbit feet, we finally made it to Assis Chateaubriand at 8am on Saturday morning. Phew.

Since then, we have done LOTS of sitting in nice comfy lawn chairs in the new "área" at Pai and Mãe's house. They recently did some rearranging and knocked out a few walls of the entryway of their house, leaving a nice covered area that goes straight through to the back laundry room. They have a nice big wooden table there and some chairs to relax, and the wind goes right through. It is just delicious! We have sat there talking with Pai and Mãe, have had breakfast, lunch, coffee, and dinner there most days, and it is just marvelous.

Saturday and Sunday involved lots of this sitting and talking, and eating homemade bread. I have eaten more bread during this pregnancy than ever before I think! And Mãe, knowing I'd been craving her bread for months, very graciously made 16 loaves immediately upon our arrival. I probably ate a whole loaf by myself when all was said and done. Whoops.

Monday morning we spent the whole morning at the City Hall. Joaquim wanted to see everyone in his department, but seeing as he knows EVERYONE there, we would take about two steps and then have to stop and say hi to someone. Two more steps and there's someone else. And you see how it goes. After lunch, we went to get our Brazilian marriage certificate here, which was a bit of a process, dropped random kids off at random schools in the afternoon, got some ice cream (duh...) and in the evening went to Tia Ivanese's house for some pizza and Guaraná. (Man, I am struggling with caffeine! I have about 1 cup of coffee a day (or two half-cups since it is usually served twice) and then it is sooooo difficult to refuse Guaraná. But I'm doing my best!) We were at Tia Ivanese's house until midnight, chatting the night away, and then slept until 11 the next morning. Ohhhh vacation. :)

Yesterday was a calmer day, with a short morning and lots more relaxing in the afternoon. We ran some more errands and when we were in town we stopped by a few people's houses. All of them had little babies! Joaquim wanted to see a friend of his who had come to our party here in June and that was the last time he saw her. So we drove past her work, went in, and she was nowhere to be found. He asked one of the other guys there if she was around and he said she was on leave. Joaquim asked, "well...is she ok??" because that sounded a bit serious. The guy responded "yea, yea, you know, just maternity leave." Joaquim said "WHAT??" Turns out, she had a baby the day before we left to come here. So we were one of little Fernanda's first visitors. It was funny to see how life will be like with a liiiiiittle newborn baby. Lots of sleeping and feeding of course. She half-heartedly invited us to have dinner there someday, but I have a feeling that would be a bit much...

Oh, there was more ice cream involved in our life yesterday afternoon.

For the whole evening, we just talked and talked and talked, staying up again until about 12:30am talking with Mãe after everyone had gone to bed.

It has been pretty hot here, and Joaquim keeps saying that it's so loud. I guess he's sort of gotten used to the quietness of suburban neighborhoods. For the first few days I think he was in shock as he got back into a "routine" here, but it has been so nice to be here. We are trying to refresh and recharge ourselves, as well as be a listening ear and a support where we can.

You can pray for both of us are we're fighting pseudo-colds. It could just be our bodies adjusting to the HEAT, but we've got scratchy throats that I hope turn into nothing else. I'm glad to have my super powered prenatal vitamin and lots of oranges at my disposal.

Our little guy is doing well - I feel him moving around every day! Joaquim preached at church on Sunday night and he did two somersaults as soon as he heard his voice on the microphone! We just read that he can now taste whatever I eat, and it seems he's a fan of melon. Yum. :)

That's all for now! We're off to run more errands!

Brazil Bound

I guess it's time to gear up for our trip to Brazil! 2 weeks from today, on the 25th, we will be boarding a plane to São Paulo and will visit our family in Brazil for a wonderful 2 weeks.

I am so looking forward to a break in routine and some time with long missed family members. But it still seems like this trip isn't real! Maybe because my passport is still floating around at the consulate waiting for a visa. Oh well, it should get back in my hands soon. We will soon be packing bags and I will be trying to figure out how to survive a 10 our flight as a pregnant woman. That will be new! No tylenol pm for me, and lots of snacks in my purse. I wish they served passion fruit juice on the airplane because that would help knock me out!

As always, the 2 weeks will go by so quickly but I am looking forward to being together at Lar, where we first met 4 years ago this month, as a married couple! And man am I looking forward to some of Mãe's homemade bread with butter. I have been thinking about it since I got pregnant...it's probably my strongest and least satisfied craving yet!

We are giddy about the promise of a GREAT trip and...I guess we'd better get packing because the clock is ticking!

His Eye is on the Sparrow

I just love this song. For weeks it has been stuck in my head, and my first choice for singing in the shower, the car, while cooking, whatever. It's a beautiful melody and I like to pretend I could duet with Lauryn Hill (further proof that sometimes I'm delusional...) Here are the lyrics:

Why should I feel discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely
And long for Heav'n and home,
When Jesus is my portion?
My constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Refrain:
I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Mostly, I just like to sing that song. It's beautiful, it's expressive and passionate, and I sound pretty good in the shower. But I was nearly knocked over by a "moment" a couple weeks ago during our gospel choir concert. A soloist started off with the first verse and no one knew this song was even on the list. As I stood on the top riser behind her, I was surprised that a song that has been so special to me in the past few months, though I didn't know why, was now being sung right in front of me.

It was then that I remembered a nearly 20 year old "nickname" of mine. When I was in early elementary school, my dad and I joined Indian Princesses. It's a father-daughter group through the YMCA that meets weekly and offers some weekly togetherness time, doing crafts, playing games, and, if I remember correctly, taking a yearly weekend retreat. Your group is a "tribe" and you and your dad choose an "indian name" to be known by when everyone gets together. I remember that some of the girls in our "tribe" had names like "purple moon" or "pink star" and I was always slightly jealous of their girly, galactic names. Why would I be jealous? Well, mine was plain and small. My dad was called "big owl", which seemed pretty fitting to me, but I was just "little sparrow".

Little did I know that this meaningless nickname that never stuck and that I had never called to mind once in the last however many years would nearly knock me off my riser on February 26th, 2010. As I listened to a beautiful song, I felt the Lord remind me of this name, and it was as if He was saying, "This is for you. I see you and I am taking care of you." Just as my dad was "big owl" and was tall and wise, my Heavenly Father is HUGE and POWERFUL and ALL KNOWING. And to Him, I am still just a little sparrow, and it is He who provides for me.

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good

My last post was about trying to be grateful even while disappointed, afraid, and upset. Last night as I was falling asleep (which is a .02 second process lately since I'm preggers...did I mention that here???) I was singing a song in my head. It's not a new song, as there are so many Psalms with this phrasing: "Oh Oh Give thanks to the Lord for He is good". And that's all the song says.

I was struck by its simplicity. Not just lyrically, but conceptually. The concept of gratitude to the Lord is SIMPLE. Basically, we should just always be thankful. Not just because we're being mandated or because the Bible says so and we just have to get over our junk and be grateful because there are starving children in China, so eat the rest of your dinner...that never made sense to me anyway. No, it's not a guilt trip, it's not a discipline. There is a very good reason to be giving thanks to the Lord. He's good! All the time!

There are bumps in all our roads...

- We are so looking forward to meeting this little baby (currently the size of a lemon and already sucking its thumb...so tiny and yet totally formed, it's just maturing now...amazing) but we have lots of reasons to wonder "how are we going to do this?" God is good, so we are giving thanks!

- Joaquim is still searching for a job, and that's really hard. We have days where I am exhausted and he is bored out of his mind because he's been stuck in the apartment. But God is providing in very intentional ways. Joaquim got his first check in the mail from preaching at a church in Forreston, IL this month, and he is currently working on a project to help translate a cell phone system into Portuguese. These connections have been divinely placed in our path, without a doubt. We thank you, Lord!

- We were blessed with a hefty tax refund to pay for half of our trip to Brasil next month (March 25-April 11). We booked those tickets wondering what in the world we were thinking, but we put it in God's hands because we know He is pleased as we pursue our future there. A month later our bank account evened out! We thank you, Lord!

- We have wonderful friends and family, here in the Chicagoland area, around the country, and across the globe.

Even if we had nothing and no one, I pray that we would still give thanks. Because we have been given the greatest gift of all, which is the gift of eternity with our God. This life is such a "poof" and it's not important. Who cares if you get the newest smart phone! Make sure you have GOD. And if you do...give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!

Disappointment...but Gratitude is the Attitude that sets the Altitude for my Life

Feeling really confused about why Joaquim didn't get this most recent really promising job he interviewed for. They emailed him and did a phone interview, then called him for a face-to-face interview all the way in Aurora and then call back a week and 1/2 later saying they chose someone else. My first reaction is "well then why did you call in the first place?" It seemed too good to be true.

Some part of me is telling me it was a learning experience, it was a lesson, and it is continuing to be a lesson in faith...especially for me.

I'm trying to meditate on the lyrics of the song "Gratitude" by Nichole Nordeman. They really capture how I feel about our current situation...dry earth, hot sun and no shade...would you please send a cloud, Lord? And yet it brings home the Choice to be grateful for what we have.

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .