I have a lot of prayer requests these days. Sometimes I even forget just how many I have until I start to envision what my life will actually be like after late August and I realize that it will be impossible if things remain as they are. Something has to change. Or about 5 big things.
But I'm not here to complain.
I'm here to ponder prayer. I heard a sermon recently that I really liked. It urged praying boldly and specifically. Now, that sounded great to me because I thought that if I just sharpened my requests a little bit and maybe asked with a bit more attitude, God would say "Ohh, ok, I was just waiting for you to ask that way. Here you go honey."
He hasn't done that...yet. (See, I still like to leave things open for Him...)
When request after request was answered with a solid "no", I started to think there was a problem with me, with us. We weren't reading the Bible enough, we weren't praying enough, my morning conversations with God in the shower are too convenient for me, I really need to sit down and journal for at least an hour and 1/2 every evening.
But then I thought again...what is prayer? Isn't prayer a dialogue? Doesn't prayer involve worship? Adoration? Thanksgiving? And...GASP...listening to God?
So I guess my point is that I am going to keep pounding the heavenly pavement and asking for my specific and bold requests because we NEED them to be answered, but...that's not all prayer is. And if I ever think it is, I'm sure that breaks God's heart. He wants us to really know Him, and that is not just a one-way street. He wants us to let Him in and to revitalize our lives and hearts, to shake up our routines (mine is very well homogenized by now, thank you) and to make everything else fall away that is not of eternal importance. This doesn't happen by simply asking boldly for something.
Now, the sermon that I heard was NOT saying that requests are the only aspect of prayer. But unfortunately, that's what I took away from the message. Yes, I was so focused on my needs that I tried to slap a formula on them and see if God would respond the way I was hoping He would. Poor me, I'm afraid I was an idiot.
To quote a very non-Christian song, "life is a highway..." It's not a series of pit stops that involve upgrading your car. It is a journey. And I want to move forward...I'm convinced that waiting for my requests to be answered is my vehicle right now, and...well, I just am looking forward to a bathroom break soon!
God is Good
- He provided a large part of the money we need to pay my mounting medical bills. We're not out of the woods yet, and we wish we could have used that money to go out for steak or something, but He is true to His promise: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want."
- I am constantly awed at how great our apartment is. We got such a good deal and it's a wonderful place.
- Most of my maternity clothes were provided for me from some wonderful and some surprising sources. Acquiring a whole new wardrobe because you don't fit into ANY of your clothes is not easy!
Some of the Prayer Requests
- Job for Joaquim! He currently has an application in at the Brazilian Consulate in Chicago and we are hoping that this is the one that comes through! Whatever job he gets, it would be wonderful if it came with insurance benefits...though we'll be grateful for anything at this point!
- Health for all three of us and the resources to keep paying off the medical bills
- Wisdom in the months to come, financially and in terms of caregivers for our little Oliver. We are praying for a NON DAYCARE option that would...well...drop into our laps please. :-)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Aaaaaand we're back!
Jimmy Fallon and Ben Affleck SNL skit. Props to you if you know which one I'm talking about.
We have made it back safe and sound to the US! Two long days of travel and one big day spent working, doing laundry, going to the grocery store, and passing out at 8pm are over and I think we're back on track.
I have a lot to catch up on here, so I will try not to skip over any big events during our trip!
First of all, Joaquim's birthday was last Tuesday and it was a great day! His highlights were having ice cream with his two favorite ladies (me and Mãe) and then a CHURRASCO for dinner. That was some good meat! Baby liked it too and was kicking his approval. :) Pai made a lovely service in the chapel and it was a great time for family and friends to come over to Lar for a celebration. I had to give Joaquim his gift before we left so I kind of felt empty-handed on his actual birthday but I hope he still enjoyed lots of happy birthday kisses and spending the day together. :) We have since also celebrated with my family at my parents house this Sunday. Lots of guacamole and red cake. It made for a very colorful and delicious meal, and plenty of laughter to go around.
Joaquim was able to speak at church on Wednesday night, our last church service in Assis for the time being. I was blessed to hear him and trust that he really encouraged the church there. We are in prayer for them now for their growth and for a freshness in the faith of each one of them...as well as in us! It was a blessing to participate with them, and I enjoyed singing as part of Joaquim's message that evening as well.
The rest of our time in Assis was spent soaking up moments of conversation, and it seemed like we just had great meal after great meal. We'd wake up to a nice breakfast, then just a couple hours later it seemed as though we were sitting down again to a nice lunch, then a nice coffee break, then a nice dinner...and we just ate and ate and talked and ate! Joaquim got a few things done for Mãe in helping her prepare the taxes, and we each did our best to help serve Lar in a few administrative capacities during our last few days. That is a great need there...
On Saturday evening we said a very hard goodbye to Mãe and Pai at the bus station. Joaquim and Mãe had a moment that brought tears to everyone's eyes as it was clear that Mãe really didn't want to say goodbye to him. She is such a strong woman and I can count on one hand the times I have seen her cry, so that really did me in! The bus ride was a bit somber in light of that, and by the time we got to São Paulo we were pretty beaten up physically and emotionally.
Joaquim's cousin Leandro picked us up at the bus station (which is the size of an airport, I swear...huge!) and we went back to his house to meet his new little baby boy! After a nice breakfast with him and his wife Carla and the sleeping baby, we took showers and then took a NAP for a good 2 hours. Joaquim was hesitant to nap because he doesn't like to sleep when conversations can be had, but in his sympathy for me he laid down a bit and was out in a flash. After we woke up, his aunt and uncle had arrived to start the preparations for another CHURRASCO mmmmm. Another aunt and uncle came over for lunch, as well as lots of other people I did not know, and we had a delicious meal. The best part was the cheese-stuffed garlic bread that was put on the grill as well. I had quite a few pieces, let me tell you. Around 3, yet another aunt and uncle came over to pick us up and bring us to the airport. Between two cars (American suitcases filled with 10 pounds of coffee don't fit well in Brazilian car trunks...) we made it to the airport super early and they blessed us by hanging out a bit after we had checked in and took us to McDonald's. Mmmm McDonald's. So good.
The airport situation was comical because it was the first time a stranger had asked me if I was pregnant. So I got whooshed ahead to the front of all the lines. Checking in, then at security, and by the time we saw the big line at the exit immigration, Joaquim had learned the system and he asked a guard if there was a special line for pregnant women. The guard responded with an enthusiastic, "well of course! Right this way!" and ushered us both up to the front once again. I must say that I was very grateful because standing for long periods of time while pregnant and after a VERY long night and day was just not high on my to-do list.
Our flight (thank the Lord we bought a direct ticket...that was wise...) was really uneventful, and I did my dutiful hourly walking. Even if I had been sleeping soundly it seemed like I woke up on the hour no matter what. I was so nervous about taking care of myself and the baby so I guess I had my internal alarm programmed! It was a relief to land and know that we were done with traveling. My dad picked us up at O'Hare and we popped into their house to say hi to my mom before hitting the road back to our apartment to shower and get ready for work. I was in such a daze all day Monday that I am not even sure what happened that day. All I know is that I went to bed at 8:00 that night and felt much better on Tuesday.
So, what have we been up to in the last week? Joaquim has continued back on the job hunt...he has an open application at UPS that he was hoping would turn into employment by now, but we're in the waiting game. He is applying places left and right and trying to tap into new and old connections. We also had a doctor's appointment last Tuesday and were pleased to see a healthy baby! He is continuing to measure a bit ahead of schedule each time. They say it's a boy, so those male Allen genes are kicking in for sure! Yikes...
Now we're getting back into the routine here and also trying not to let ourselves become too content with the routine. We're always pressed in some way and learning something new...and God is always good! We're so grateful to have had a wonderful trip. Thanks for all your prayers!
We have made it back safe and sound to the US! Two long days of travel and one big day spent working, doing laundry, going to the grocery store, and passing out at 8pm are over and I think we're back on track.
I have a lot to catch up on here, so I will try not to skip over any big events during our trip!
First of all, Joaquim's birthday was last Tuesday and it was a great day! His highlights were having ice cream with his two favorite ladies (me and Mãe) and then a CHURRASCO for dinner. That was some good meat! Baby liked it too and was kicking his approval. :) Pai made a lovely service in the chapel and it was a great time for family and friends to come over to Lar for a celebration. I had to give Joaquim his gift before we left so I kind of felt empty-handed on his actual birthday but I hope he still enjoyed lots of happy birthday kisses and spending the day together. :) We have since also celebrated with my family at my parents house this Sunday. Lots of guacamole and red cake. It made for a very colorful and delicious meal, and plenty of laughter to go around.
Joaquim was able to speak at church on Wednesday night, our last church service in Assis for the time being. I was blessed to hear him and trust that he really encouraged the church there. We are in prayer for them now for their growth and for a freshness in the faith of each one of them...as well as in us! It was a blessing to participate with them, and I enjoyed singing as part of Joaquim's message that evening as well.
The rest of our time in Assis was spent soaking up moments of conversation, and it seemed like we just had great meal after great meal. We'd wake up to a nice breakfast, then just a couple hours later it seemed as though we were sitting down again to a nice lunch, then a nice coffee break, then a nice dinner...and we just ate and ate and talked and ate! Joaquim got a few things done for Mãe in helping her prepare the taxes, and we each did our best to help serve Lar in a few administrative capacities during our last few days. That is a great need there...
On Saturday evening we said a very hard goodbye to Mãe and Pai at the bus station. Joaquim and Mãe had a moment that brought tears to everyone's eyes as it was clear that Mãe really didn't want to say goodbye to him. She is such a strong woman and I can count on one hand the times I have seen her cry, so that really did me in! The bus ride was a bit somber in light of that, and by the time we got to São Paulo we were pretty beaten up physically and emotionally.
Joaquim's cousin Leandro picked us up at the bus station (which is the size of an airport, I swear...huge!) and we went back to his house to meet his new little baby boy! After a nice breakfast with him and his wife Carla and the sleeping baby, we took showers and then took a NAP for a good 2 hours. Joaquim was hesitant to nap because he doesn't like to sleep when conversations can be had, but in his sympathy for me he laid down a bit and was out in a flash. After we woke up, his aunt and uncle had arrived to start the preparations for another CHURRASCO mmmmm. Another aunt and uncle came over for lunch, as well as lots of other people I did not know, and we had a delicious meal. The best part was the cheese-stuffed garlic bread that was put on the grill as well. I had quite a few pieces, let me tell you. Around 3, yet another aunt and uncle came over to pick us up and bring us to the airport. Between two cars (American suitcases filled with 10 pounds of coffee don't fit well in Brazilian car trunks...) we made it to the airport super early and they blessed us by hanging out a bit after we had checked in and took us to McDonald's. Mmmm McDonald's. So good.
The airport situation was comical because it was the first time a stranger had asked me if I was pregnant. So I got whooshed ahead to the front of all the lines. Checking in, then at security, and by the time we saw the big line at the exit immigration, Joaquim had learned the system and he asked a guard if there was a special line for pregnant women. The guard responded with an enthusiastic, "well of course! Right this way!" and ushered us both up to the front once again. I must say that I was very grateful because standing for long periods of time while pregnant and after a VERY long night and day was just not high on my to-do list.
Our flight (thank the Lord we bought a direct ticket...that was wise...) was really uneventful, and I did my dutiful hourly walking. Even if I had been sleeping soundly it seemed like I woke up on the hour no matter what. I was so nervous about taking care of myself and the baby so I guess I had my internal alarm programmed! It was a relief to land and know that we were done with traveling. My dad picked us up at O'Hare and we popped into their house to say hi to my mom before hitting the road back to our apartment to shower and get ready for work. I was in such a daze all day Monday that I am not even sure what happened that day. All I know is that I went to bed at 8:00 that night and felt much better on Tuesday.
So, what have we been up to in the last week? Joaquim has continued back on the job hunt...he has an open application at UPS that he was hoping would turn into employment by now, but we're in the waiting game. He is applying places left and right and trying to tap into new and old connections. We also had a doctor's appointment last Tuesday and were pleased to see a healthy baby! He is continuing to measure a bit ahead of schedule each time. They say it's a boy, so those male Allen genes are kicking in for sure! Yikes...
Now we're getting back into the routine here and also trying not to let ourselves become too content with the routine. We're always pressed in some way and learning something new...and God is always good! We're so grateful to have had a wonderful trip. Thanks for all your prayers!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Aracnaphobia!!
For those who haven't seen that movie, count your blessings and let me say that I saw enough live wild spiders for my entire life yesterday. I was just sauntering into the bathroom when I saw a big, fat, hairy, black tarantula sitting on the side of the bathtub. I circled right on out of there, said "ohhhhhhhhh my goshhhhhhh" and ran out to Joaquim. "Ummm there is a VERY big spider in our bathroom." He went and sprayed some spider killing spray at it but it seemed more perturbed than, well, dead. It just walked on out of the bathtub, along the floor, and started heading out into the bedroom. Joaquim flipped it onto its back in the bathroom and it looked like it was dead, but after about 1 minute it stretched out its legs and righted itself. Flipped again, and then Joaquim grabbed it between two flip flops (this sucker was way too big to just smash...) and flushed it down the toilet. I kept a distance of about 10-20 feet during the whole incident, took a couple pictures, and mostly squealed while Mãe laughed and Joaquim concentrated on the poor arachnid's imminent death.
Well, this was at the end of a full, very busy, day.
The day started off very nicely...it was a federal holiday in Brazil (Good Friday) and all the kids were off school, all the stores were closed so there were no errands to run...a very nice forced break. We woke up around 9, had a calm, lazy breakfast, and then were almost immediately off to Gilberto and Roseli's house for lunch. I don't think I felt hungry once yesterday, due purely to constant eating. We had some good chicken, pasta, rice, and Guaraná (oh I am over caffeinating myself these days I am SURE) and lively conversation, then headed out around 2. After helping Cristina make some brownies here, we headed back out to visit Joaquim's cousin who lives in Assis but I had never met. First we went to his aunt's house, sat and chatted there for an hour, then went with her to Ursula's house and were there for two hours eating carrot cake and chatting. I think we left there around 5 or 6, and I was EXHAUSTED. It was hot inside the house and we were cramped at the kitchen table and I was just ready for a nap. Thankfully Joaquim responded to his pregnant wife's request to make our polite exit, and off we went. Except for the fact that we still had to drop off his aunt. Tia Ivanese is just the sweetest thing, but whenever we go over there, there is NO leaving! So we get to her house and her daughter invited us in right away and had made mousse de maracuja (passion fruit mousse) and cake and juice. More eating and talking. I was actually enjoying the conversation but I was so tired that I could have just cried. At one point I pondered upon how sleepy I was and tears actually did come to my eyes. I have a cold, I was thinking about how an illness and exhaustion is not good for a body that is in the process of making a human being, and then the hormones kicked in and made me one upset mama.
So I sat there, tapping Joaquim's leg, for about 40 minutes and at 8pm we left. When we arrived home I planned on laying down and maybe snoozing until dinner (completely unnecessary after all the food we'd eaten but this silly baby needs to eat on a regular basis, and maybe something of nutritional value!) when I encountered Harry the spider. And there was the end of any chance of sleep.
We ended up going to bed at about 10:30 or 11 after a day of lots of great conversation and fellowship...and a few tears that were quickly enveloped by SLEEP.
Today I've felt infinitely better, only a few sneezes, and I got a nap this afternoon. This equals a happy mama. :)
We hung around Lar and Pai and Mãe's house today...had breakfast, chatted, washed all our clothes, took a little walk, had lunch, slept, chilllllllled. Now we are downloading an episode of Lost on iTunes (I still had $12 from a gift card I got Christmas of 2008 on my itunes account...sweeeeeeet) and Joaquim is preparing to speak at church tomorrow.
It hardly feels like Easter weekend here...I've been a little nostalgic about Easter at home because we're not really celebrating in any way. Of course there is chocolate, but no church service on Good Friday and not much more than normal tomorrow morning it seems. Of course I've grown out of all the fun childhood Easter traditions we used to do in my family (and soon will do with our little Oliver, Lord willing!) but I still LOVE Easter. Yesterday as Joaquim and I drove through town I saw just how empty it was because of the day off. Then we drove past a Catholic church and saw that it was standing room only. The line at the butcher's counter at the supermarket today was also out the door, because all the Catholics are free to eat meat now. So there is a bit of an effort to not do anything show-boaty in church because this is SUCH a Catholic holiday here, and most of the people who "celebrate" by having fish on Friday and going to church for the only time all year don't even understand or know the significance of the day. In an effort to be different than the Catholics, there is a lack of recognition of Jesus's death on the cross because it has to be recognized every day, not just a religious attempt once a year. Ok, I get that...but I still miss a really good Good Friday service at Harvest and saying "Christ is Risen!! He is risen indeed!!" at church on Sunday morning.
But we will celebrate in our hearts tomorrow! And it's good to experience the holiday here and know how Joaquim is used to it...and plan how our Easter will be next year, no matter where we will be located.
Well, this was at the end of a full, very busy, day.
The day started off very nicely...it was a federal holiday in Brazil (Good Friday) and all the kids were off school, all the stores were closed so there were no errands to run...a very nice forced break. We woke up around 9, had a calm, lazy breakfast, and then were almost immediately off to Gilberto and Roseli's house for lunch. I don't think I felt hungry once yesterday, due purely to constant eating. We had some good chicken, pasta, rice, and Guaraná (oh I am over caffeinating myself these days I am SURE) and lively conversation, then headed out around 2. After helping Cristina make some brownies here, we headed back out to visit Joaquim's cousin who lives in Assis but I had never met. First we went to his aunt's house, sat and chatted there for an hour, then went with her to Ursula's house and were there for two hours eating carrot cake and chatting. I think we left there around 5 or 6, and I was EXHAUSTED. It was hot inside the house and we were cramped at the kitchen table and I was just ready for a nap. Thankfully Joaquim responded to his pregnant wife's request to make our polite exit, and off we went. Except for the fact that we still had to drop off his aunt. Tia Ivanese is just the sweetest thing, but whenever we go over there, there is NO leaving! So we get to her house and her daughter invited us in right away and had made mousse de maracuja (passion fruit mousse) and cake and juice. More eating and talking. I was actually enjoying the conversation but I was so tired that I could have just cried. At one point I pondered upon how sleepy I was and tears actually did come to my eyes. I have a cold, I was thinking about how an illness and exhaustion is not good for a body that is in the process of making a human being, and then the hormones kicked in and made me one upset mama.
So I sat there, tapping Joaquim's leg, for about 40 minutes and at 8pm we left. When we arrived home I planned on laying down and maybe snoozing until dinner (completely unnecessary after all the food we'd eaten but this silly baby needs to eat on a regular basis, and maybe something of nutritional value!) when I encountered Harry the spider. And there was the end of any chance of sleep.
We ended up going to bed at about 10:30 or 11 after a day of lots of great conversation and fellowship...and a few tears that were quickly enveloped by SLEEP.
Today I've felt infinitely better, only a few sneezes, and I got a nap this afternoon. This equals a happy mama. :)
We hung around Lar and Pai and Mãe's house today...had breakfast, chatted, washed all our clothes, took a little walk, had lunch, slept, chilllllllled. Now we are downloading an episode of Lost on iTunes (I still had $12 from a gift card I got Christmas of 2008 on my itunes account...sweeeeeeet) and Joaquim is preparing to speak at church tomorrow.
It hardly feels like Easter weekend here...I've been a little nostalgic about Easter at home because we're not really celebrating in any way. Of course there is chocolate, but no church service on Good Friday and not much more than normal tomorrow morning it seems. Of course I've grown out of all the fun childhood Easter traditions we used to do in my family (and soon will do with our little Oliver, Lord willing!) but I still LOVE Easter. Yesterday as Joaquim and I drove through town I saw just how empty it was because of the day off. Then we drove past a Catholic church and saw that it was standing room only. The line at the butcher's counter at the supermarket today was also out the door, because all the Catholics are free to eat meat now. So there is a bit of an effort to not do anything show-boaty in church because this is SUCH a Catholic holiday here, and most of the people who "celebrate" by having fish on Friday and going to church for the only time all year don't even understand or know the significance of the day. In an effort to be different than the Catholics, there is a lack of recognition of Jesus's death on the cross because it has to be recognized every day, not just a religious attempt once a year. Ok, I get that...but I still miss a really good Good Friday service at Harvest and saying "Christ is Risen!! He is risen indeed!!" at church on Sunday morning.
But we will celebrate in our hearts tomorrow! And it's good to experience the holiday here and know how Joaquim is used to it...and plan how our Easter will be next year, no matter where we will be located.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)