Woodfield Mall

It had been quite a while since I had last meandered through Woodfield Mall. Joaquim and I went there last night and managed to do the unthinkable, the impossible, the miraculous....we left the mall with MORE money than when we arrived.

But I must say, it was difficult, humbling, and eye opening to walk through that place. We just had to return a duplicate gift from the wedding, and by the time we actually got to Crate & Barrel, I had absolutely no desire to browse and buy anything with our return money.

Why, you ask?

We parked by Macy's, so walking through that store was a little bit shocking. I haven't been an extravagant shopper for a while now (I remember how much I used to spend on clothes in high school...totally ridiculous!) so it's not like I was suddenly being confronted with department store price tags for the first time, but being married to Joaquim has definitely changed my outlook a little bit. He really needs some winter sweaters and a coat, which we will get soon...but he is so hesitant to spend money on clothes because it really is more of a luxury than he is used to, buying multiple items of clothing at one time. His mom would always give him a new outfit for Christmas/New years...and that's it. Random t-shirts here and there, but he never has gone and outfitted himself for a season before.

Seeing his heart, caring nothing about fashion but only about what would actually keep him warm, and his almost childlike innocence, thinking "do I really NEED that?" was convicting and humbling. How many times did I go shopping with my mom at places like The GAP, Express, H&M (although they're not ridiculously priced), and ask her to buy me things I didn't need? Thankfully my mom never let me get tons and tons of stuff, but I always left with a pretty heavy shopping bag. I realized last night that I also usually left those stores feeling unhappy, unsatisfied, and like my outfits weren't going to cut it. I always left looking at a mannequin and thinking "I wish I had THAT outfit..." I would walk past display windows and feel bad for myself because I didn't have that pair of $150 boots.

Last night in Macy's I saw a mother and daughter with their arms piled high with clothes. I saw very fashionably dressed middle aged women, browsing through name brand blouses. And I just felt sad for them. Now, I'm not saying that everyone who buys lots of clothes is this poor unhappy soul. If I had a million dollars, I would probably shop at Macy's a time or two. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with it, or with going to the mall. But I just know that I left feeling sad, guilty for how much money we as a society spend on such stupid things, and I didn't even buy anything. I wonder if the girl with the ALDO bag who was on her way into Na Hoku jewelers felt the same way...

On our way home, we were listening to moody radio (I have officially turned into my parents, but let's not dwell on this subject...) and Dr. Dobson was interviewing Tony Dungee (coach of the superbowl winning Colts a few years ago). Tony Dungee is a Christian, and a pretty solid guy from what I heard. Dr. Dobson asked him about family, and why he thinks families are disintegrating more these days than they were 50 years ago. Tony Dungee's thoughts were fascinating. He said that fathers are less involved in this generation because their fathers had a mindset of merely "protect and provide". Most dads didn't spend quality time with their kids, they just worked hard to give them nice things and better opportunities than they had. For most, this didn't end up being a fair trade. Now parents still work their butts off, coming home late, having nannies pick their kids up from school, so they can buy them a car for their 16th birthday or get them a new video game system every Christmas, because they didn't have that when they were younger. But what happens when their kid drops out of school, and they didn't even realize there were problems?

All the parents dragging their kids to the mall and getting them everything they want are missing it. What children, teenagers, young adults, even old adults, need more than what they want is quality time with their family. Maybe not everyone I saw last night was merely in a frenzy of trying to satisfy themselves with cloth and leather and tags that say a name brand on them. But I'd bet most of them were...