I have a lot of prayer requests these days. Sometimes I even forget just how many I have until I start to envision what my life will actually be like after late August and I realize that it will be impossible if things remain as they are. Something has to change. Or about 5 big things.
But I'm not here to complain.
I'm here to ponder prayer. I heard a sermon recently that I really liked. It urged praying boldly and specifically. Now, that sounded great to me because I thought that if I just sharpened my requests a little bit and maybe asked with a bit more attitude, God would say "Ohh, ok, I was just waiting for you to ask that way. Here you go honey."
He hasn't done that...yet. (See, I still like to leave things open for Him...)
When request after request was answered with a solid "no", I started to think there was a problem with me, with us. We weren't reading the Bible enough, we weren't praying enough, my morning conversations with God in the shower are too convenient for me, I really need to sit down and journal for at least an hour and 1/2 every evening.
But then I thought again...what is prayer? Isn't prayer a dialogue? Doesn't prayer involve worship? Adoration? Thanksgiving? And...GASP...listening to God?
So I guess my point is that I am going to keep pounding the heavenly pavement and asking for my specific and bold requests because we NEED them to be answered, but...that's not all prayer is. And if I ever think it is, I'm sure that breaks God's heart. He wants us to really know Him, and that is not just a one-way street. He wants us to let Him in and to revitalize our lives and hearts, to shake up our routines (mine is very well homogenized by now, thank you) and to make everything else fall away that is not of eternal importance. This doesn't happen by simply asking boldly for something.
Now, the sermon that I heard was NOT saying that requests are the only aspect of prayer. But unfortunately, that's what I took away from the message. Yes, I was so focused on my needs that I tried to slap a formula on them and see if God would respond the way I was hoping He would. Poor me, I'm afraid I was an idiot.
To quote a very non-Christian song, "life is a highway..." It's not a series of pit stops that involve upgrading your car. It is a journey. And I want to move forward...I'm convinced that waiting for my requests to be answered is my vehicle right now, and...well, I just am looking forward to a bathroom break soon!
God is Good
- He provided a large part of the money we need to pay my mounting medical bills. We're not out of the woods yet, and we wish we could have used that money to go out for steak or something, but He is true to His promise: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want."
- I am constantly awed at how great our apartment is. We got such a good deal and it's a wonderful place.
- Most of my maternity clothes were provided for me from some wonderful and some surprising sources. Acquiring a whole new wardrobe because you don't fit into ANY of your clothes is not easy!
Some of the Prayer Requests
- Job for Joaquim! He currently has an application in at the Brazilian Consulate in Chicago and we are hoping that this is the one that comes through! Whatever job he gets, it would be wonderful if it came with insurance benefits...though we'll be grateful for anything at this point!
- Health for all three of us and the resources to keep paying off the medical bills
- Wisdom in the months to come, financially and in terms of caregivers for our little Oliver. We are praying for a NON DAYCARE option that would...well...drop into our laps please. :-)
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