Flying...

I must confess. Lately, I have acquired an almost paralyzing fear of flying.

I don't know when this happened. I have flown since I was too young to even remember. I have flown overseas literally dozens of times, and my mileage plus account now boasts enough miles for a free ticket (though I am just saving more!) Why in the last 6 months have I suddenly been reduced to near panic attacks when flying in an airplane?

Some say that if you say exactly what you're afraid of, it helps you rationalize your way out of it. So, here goes...

1. I just hate the fragility of it all. If one little thing goes wrong, that's it. I always pray for the pilot when we are taking of...
2. I don't like being in the air for SO LONG. It's like we're this floating entity and I don't understand how something that huge can remain in 38,000 feet above the earth, packed with people and things, and be ok!
3. Taking off. I hate it. It absolutely terrifies me. So many noises: whirrings and grinding and screeching and whizzing and whooshing. Flying home from Brazil last January, the whole plane was shaking, and the overhead compartments were rattling so loudly. That can't be good!
4. Turbulence. Violent shaking while miles and miles in the air. Why?

I don't know, I just get generally jumpy and my heart races and I just think...I have so much to live for! I want to get married! I have too much to do! I'm not ready!

And then I land at my destination (I love landing...the closer to the ground, the better) and think...sheesh, why did I get so nervous?

I am FLYING to Brazil 2 weeks from tomorrow. I have been thinking about this June plane trip for months, with dread. You should probably pray for me.